The Mikvah

A mikvah is a bath designed for ritual immersion in Judaism. It is used for both ritual purifications and conversion.

"Danielle" has been expressing, for quite some time, the desire to become Jewish. I am Jewish, FosterEema is Jewish, but "Danielle" is not. She has been aware of that difference, and even though we aren't particularly religious, she wants to be Jewish, like us.

Several talks with her therapist, social workers and attorney have clarified our county's policy on religious practice. Although county and state law forbids foster parents from converting children against their will, there is nothing that prohibits a conversion when the child desires it.

Under Jewish law, a minor child (under the age of 12 for girls and 13 for boys) may be converted without going before a beit din, or Jewish rabbinical court. Instead, they must undergo a ritual immersion, and then must verbally reaffirm their decision upon reaching the age of majority.

"Danielle's" 12th birthday has been on all of our minds for quite some time. She's repeatedly asked when we were going to "make her Jewish," and we didn't have an answer for her. Although the process itself is quite easy, we weren't sure we should do it because we weren't entirely sure "Danielle" understood what it meant. FosterEema and I both wrestled with the decision, because of "Danielle's" age. She was so close to the age of majority that she should have some say in these matters, but her lifetime of deprivation has left her with considerable deficits in her understanding.

In the end, we went with "Danielle's" wishes. Her therapist mentioned recently that "Danielle" was "very excited" about the idea of becoming Jewish, because it would make her feel like she was more a part of our family.

After a considerable amount of discussion, debate, and hand-wringing, FosterEema and I decided that the only thing we could do was to give "Danielle" what she wanted.

Since the only kosher mikvah in our area belongs to an ultra-orthodox group that isn't particularly queer, minority or adoption-friendly, we consulted with a rabbi friend who suggested that we use a natural hot spring instead.

It is done.

"Danielle," for better or worse, is now a member of the Jewish people.